A Taste of the Tropics

Since my wedding is coming up, and since we're headed to Jamaica for our honeymoon, I thought it might be a good idea to tan a little bit. For one thing, I don't want to be as white as my dress, and for another, I still had swimsuit lines from last summer on my back and shoulders.

I was a little nervous to go to a tanning salon. I have never, ever been, and I don't normally promote regular use of tanning beds since they can harm your skin. But I figured a little temporary use wouldn't hurt. Plus I've heard that the benefits include a better mood. And who couldn't use that when West Michigan can go weeks at a time without seeing the sun?

So I asked around and then worked up my courage to go buy some tanning minutes. The high school girls working there were very nice to me, but I did get one strange question: "You mean you've never been tanning? Not even when you were little?" I was puzzled, picturing a five-year-old in a tanning bed, so I said, No, I haven't ever been. As I walked out that day (didn't tan the first trip--one step at a time) with my 100 minutes, I thought, "I bet they were referring to high school!" How old do I look? I know I've got some lines in my forehead from squinting and wrinkling my face up, but seriously?? I'm less than ten years removed from high school, thank you very much, Miss Teeny-Bopper.

My second trip to the salon, I actually went to tan. I was certain I would do something wrong and make a fool of myself. I was right. I wanted to use the stand-up bed for my first visit. I thought it would be better than laying in a bed. Who knows how many other people have been in there? I know they sanitize them after every use, but I wasn't going in there the first time.

The highschooler working that day led me back to the stand-up booth, which I learned is called "The Hex." (Don't I sound like I know what I'm talking about??) She explained that the timer would go for seven minutes, giving me time to change and apply lotion. Then I could step in and push two buttons if I wanted to start it on my own. Otherwise, the seven minutes would run out and it would just start automatically. She gave me my goggles and was on her way. I managed to change with one minute remaining, so I just figured I'd let it start on its own. I stepped into the booth, shut the door, and waited. I also pressed the goggles to my face, because I could see a little light out the sides, and I was afraid that the rays would burn my retinas or some nonsense like that. So I'm standing there waiting ... and waiting. I had thought that the bulbs would be at least as bright as a regular lamp, but I was still standing in the dark. Okay, I thought. Maybe my perceptions were wrong. Perhaps these lights don't "light up" but instead they give off UV rays without looking like they're on. My mind went back and forth between wondering if this was truly the case or if I was doing something wrong. At one point I peeked out the door to see if the timer was working. It had gone down one minute, so I knew it was on. But I had taken off my goggles to see it, so then I worried that some rays may have gotten to my eyes. I stepped back in, held the goggles to my eyes, and kind of moved around to pass the time. The time ended, I stepped out, and I didn't really see any difference in the mirror. I had no idea how soon color would show up, so I dressed and walked back to the counter. And I sure didn't see the appeal of tanning yet. They asked me how it worked out, and I did have enough courage to say "Ummm. I don't know if it worked." They asked if the bulbs came on, and I said I didn't think so. Since I had never been in one before, maybe I just didn't know what they were supposed to be like. Bless the girls' patient hearts, they took me back, turned on the bed, and asked if it had looked like that. I was blinded by the light (mind you, the girl had NO goggles on as she did this, and I was standing in a dark booth worried that my retinas were dissolving). Nope. I did not see those lights. I'd like to believe that it wasn't my fault that the bed didn't start on its own, but it probably was. They were nice enough to let me try again, and the second time around, I definitely had some color starting. I was pleased with that result, and the warm feeling really was very nice.

After another time in The Hex, I've graduated to the regular bed and actually like it quite a bit. I've only worked up to seven minutes at a time, but I think I'm now ready for eight! That will be nice since I could lay there and sleep for about an hour--not an option though.

So I'm not a tanning novice anymore, but I was probably the source of amusement for the salon's employees. Anyone else ever do this? I'm seeing some color that I'm very proud of, and I've now been 5 times (6 if you count the time without the lights on). One step at a time, people ...